This is an article I recently read written by Mrs. Molly Audiss. It struck home with me...for you see, my husband and I recently spent three hours counseling with a lady dealing with these same issues. I wanted to write about this subject to help others but this article says it all perfectly. I hope it will be a help to you as well!
Same You, New Perspective
Genesis 11:29 & 30, "And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram's wife was Sarai: and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah. But Sarai was barren; she had no child."
I recently wrote an article about Sarah for the Christian Womanhood magazine, in which I state that I believe Sarah was the greatest woman in the Bible. She is definitely used throughout the New Testament as an example of a woman of faith and a godly wife. I have such admiration for her! Yet in my study I saw something in Sarah that is very human and very relevant and greatly encourages me.
The first time Sarah is mentioned in the Bible, she is listed as the wife of Abram in the geneology of Genesis 11 (see above). As you can tell, this list also mentions that Abram's brother Nahor married a woman named Milcah. Already there is a contrast. Nothing is said about the lineage of Sarah, yet Milcah's heritage is mentioned. So in my imaginative mind I see that Sarah could appear as the "nobody" in the family, compared to her sister-in-law. The very next verse gives the first and only statement describing Sarah in this Bible story-she was barren and had no child. Wow! Double whammy, not just barren, but also had no child. The negative statement is restated, almost as if for emphasis. That is where her story begins.
Sarah, of course, follows Abraham on his adventure of becoming the father of the Hebrew nation and one of the greatest men that ever lived. Yet it is interesting when taking that closer look, that she seems to view herself, not as a great, beautiful, famous, rich woman, but as what she most disliked about herself-she was barren.
This story only gives five statements that Sarah gave in her lifetime. Amazingly, each time she is quoted, she is talking about the same subject, her status as a mother. It appears to me that Sarah was constantly overshadowed by the negative aspect of her life that she acquired quite young, that of being without child. She never got past it. Could it be that she never saw herself as the very beautiful woman that Abram, as well as all other men, saw her as? Could she not grasp the promise that someday she would be honored above all women? Could she never see herself as the Lord viewed her, a woman of great faith? No, she seemed so tortured by her first stigma, barrenness, that she could not see the good that others saw in her.
We can all so easily allow this to happen to us.
What was that negative stigma that haunts you from your past, that you have a difficult time letting go of?
You go through life as if you are wearing a badge for the world to see-"Abused," "Unlovable," "Forsaken," "Fat," "Ugly," "Liar," "Unfaithful," "Useless," "Undeserving," "Childless," "Stupid," "Impure," "Divorced." You may have acquired these stigmas by circumstances beyond your control or as a result of your own bad decisions.
Nevertheless, you cannot seem to go about life viewing yourself in any other light than the person you first saw yourself as long ago.
It does not matter that God sees you differently. It makes no difference that all those around you view you in a better light. You still live in the darkness of who you think you are.
Unfortunately, this monkey on your back affects your judgment, even today. Sarah made a horrible decision to ask her husband to marry Hagar, simply because she was trying to free herself from her burden. This choice has been as bad for the nation of Israel as the choice Eve made in the garden has been for the human race. Sarah's poor judgment has brought about centuries of war and hate.
If only she could have seen herself as God did, she would have had the patience to wait for His timing.
Women today are making choices driven by pain from their past.
Ladies, it doesn't matter if you are a part of a wonderful family, with a godly husband, greatly used by God (as Sarah was). You must be able to feel God's hand on your life personally. The promises of God on your mate are not enough to free you from the hurts of your past. You, yourself, have to find God and be able to accept His love for you. Pastor's wife, missionary's wife, deacon's wife- you are not the first woman who needed assurance from God. Sarah, a great woman, and an excellent wife struggled with feelings of worthlessness and insecurity. Please make it the prayer of your life to find God's personal and powerful love for you personally. This intimate love is what will free you from the past that haunts you and labels you and keeps you from making right choices. Don't be embarrassed because you have been a Christian for so long; continue to seek the light of God's love until its warmth melts away the shadows of unworthiness you feel. God's passionate love is there for you, but you must possess it for it to change your life.
Your feeling loved and accepted and forgiven by Christ is necessary if you want to make the right decisions for your family. Please do not let your children suffer from poor decisions you make while wearing a badge handed you as a child or young adult. love of Jesus. Immerse yourself in the Bible. Read it, memorize it, ponder it throughout your day. The Word of God is powerful and can help you think about yourself as God thinks about you. The Holy Spirit can remove the blinders that keep you from seeing how those around you truly see you. God can help you receive love, though you feel unlovable. Allow the Lord to supernaturally work this miracle in your life. He loves you, just as you are; and He sees you for what you will be!
